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Hope is something you pee on

~ …trying to survive infertility, IVF and egg donation.

Hope is something you pee on

Tag Archives: chemical pregnancy

Beta #3 – 7

18 Thursday Oct 2012

Posted by mybrokenoven in Betas, Results

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beta, chemical pregnancy, early miscarriage, ectopic, miscarriage, pregnancy

So, I guess that’s it.  I got the official order to go off the meds. This cycle is officially a failure, and I can expect to start to miscarry sometime in the next few days. My one and only pregnancy is over.

I can’t tell if I got all of my crying out already, or if I’m just relieved that it’s not an ectopic pregnancy and/or going to keep dragging on with slightly increasing betas. Maybe I’m just relieved to be able to have a freaking margarita. But, either way I just feel relief. I expect that will change, especially once the bleeding starts but for now I’m just happy to have an answer.

The problem with having an answer is that now I have a new problem – Try again?

Probably. But right now the the thought of all those shots and doctors appointments and the accompanying roller coaster of emotions is too overwhelming to contemplate  So, for right now I’m going to focus on breathing in and breathing out and putting one foot in front of the other. We’ll see how that goes.

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Beta #2 – 25.1

16 Tuesday Oct 2012

Posted by mybrokenoven in Betas, Results

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beta, chemical pregnancy

Why couldn’t it have just gone down? Now I have to play this game of knowing that it’s a not a viable pregnancy but acting as if it is until the numbers plateau and then decline.  “How long should that take”, I asked the nurse. “Probably not too long but it’s hard to say”, she said. What’s not too long?

I have to go back on Wed. for my more blood work.

This is horrible.

 

 

I hate this

16 Tuesday Oct 2012

Posted by mybrokenoven in 2WW, Results

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2WW, beta, chemical pregnancy, low beta

I had my first beta on Thurs, and got the bad news after a 3 hour flight. I haven’t really had a chance to digest it or deal with it as I was in a wedding over the weekend. It made the time pass so was good in that respect, I guess.  My pregnancy tests still show faint lines, but all my symptoms are gone. My boobs are still sore but I’m still having to take all the Progesterone support so that’s not surprising.

I went in for my 2nd beta this morning (Monday – 16dp2dt or 18dpo) and am waiting for the results. I’m hoping for a miracle but know in my heart that it’s over.  I just hope this doesn’t drag on and on – numbers rising but only slightly, forcing you continue to to cling to that shred of hope. If IVF has taught me anything it’t that I’m not that 1 in a million person who beats the odds. I fall right in the middle of the bell curve.  Please just let the number be unambiguous.

Beta #1 – 12

16 Tuesday Oct 2012

Posted by mybrokenoven in 2WW, Betas, Results

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Tags

chemical pregnancy, low beta

Gutted.

I’m 12dp2dt or 14dpo. My beta is 12. By now my hcG levels should be between 50-200.  RE says it doesn’t look good.

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