Tag Archives: beta

Beta #3 – 3722!!!

08 Sunday Dec 2013

Posted by in 2WW, Betas, Donor Eggs, IVF, Results

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I can’t thank you all enough for your support! Seriously, I’ve been losing it, and y’all have been beyond amazing. Thank you thank you thank. Thank you for pulling me through. As much as family and friends offer love and support no one really knows what it’s like to be in these situations, and how difficult it is – how difficult the whole infertility thing can be. And you guys get it. Your opinions and support are invaluable to me.

When the Doctor called and told me the new number and said he was totally baffled by the second beta. I asked him what it could be and he said he had no idea but that everything looked great and I shouldn’t worry. He said I don’t need another beta, and I go in for an ultrasound after I get back from my conference.

What do you guys think? Lab error? Something went wrong and corrected itself? Vanishing twin? Here are the betas –

  • 8 AM 9dp5dt – 586
  • 8 AM 11dp5dt – 697 (doubling time 191 hours)
  • 8 AM 13dp5dt – 3372 (doubling time 19 hors)

Well, whatever the reason – I’ll take it!

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Beta #1

04 Wednesday Dec 2013

Posted by in Results, Uncategorized

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4:45 PM Had my blood drawn at 8:00 AM. The nurses told me the doctor wouldn’t be calling until the afternoon. Now it’s 4:45 and I STILL haven’t heard a peep. I broke down and called them a few minutes ago and the receptionist said they had just started their daily results meeting and he would be calling soon. I am losing my mind. I understand now how the police get people to talk by leaving them in a room for a few hours with their thoughts. Leave me alone with my thoughts and vague feeling of anxiety and I’m suddenly a raving lunatic. I have been absolutely confident throughout this whole cycle, except for the last 2 hours. And in these last 2 hours every fear, doubt, and previous terrible IF experience has come creeping back in. Are all of those gazillion BFP’s only positive because tests have gotten so good that they detect even small (read here: chemical pregnancy) amounts of hCG? Are all of my symptoms psychosomatic? And I know that no matter what this beta is (because it will be some number greater than 5, I know that for certain) there will be another beta on Thursday and this whole traumatic experience will repeat itself. I am literally staring at the phone and willing it to ring. 

5:12 PM Willing the phone to ring didn’t work. It’s fine, right? It’s gonna be fine. Right?

5:20 PM My mom just called to check and see what the news was (like I wouldn’t have already called her if I knew). I just about jumped out of my skin. WTF is taking them so long? I have to go home and start cooking dinner, but I’m afraid to get in the elevator because there’s no reception there, or in the stairwell. I’m trapped in my office!!

Beta #1 – 586!!!!!  Wha….?!

 

 

Beta #3 – 7

18 Thursday Oct 2012

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So, I guess that’s it.  I got the official order to go off the meds. This cycle is officially a failure, and I can expect to start to miscarry sometime in the next few days. My one and only pregnancy is over.

I can’t tell if I got all of my crying out already, or if I’m just relieved that it’s not an ectopic pregnancy and/or going to keep dragging on with slightly increasing betas. Maybe I’m just relieved to be able to have a freaking margarita. But, either way I just feel relief. I expect that will change, especially once the bleeding starts but for now I’m just happy to have an answer.

The problem with having an answer is that now I have a new problem – Try again?

Probably. But right now the the thought of all those shots and doctors appointments and the accompanying roller coaster of emotions is too overwhelming to contemplate  So, for right now I’m going to focus on breathing in and breathing out and putting one foot in front of the other. We’ll see how that goes.

Beta #2 – 25.1

16 Tuesday Oct 2012

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Why couldn’t it have just gone down? Now I have to play this game of knowing that it’s a not a viable pregnancy but acting as if it is until the numbers plateau and then decline.  “How long should that take”, I asked the nurse. “Probably not too long but it’s hard to say”, she said. What’s not too long?

I have to go back on Wed. for my more blood work.

This is horrible.

 

 

I hate this

16 Tuesday Oct 2012

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I had my first beta on Thurs, and got the bad news after a 3 hour flight. I haven’t really had a chance to digest it or deal with it as I was in a wedding over the weekend. It made the time pass so was good in that respect, I guess.  My pregnancy tests still show faint lines, but all my symptoms are gone. My boobs are still sore but I’m still having to take all the Progesterone support so that’s not surprising.

I went in for my 2nd beta this morning (Monday – 16dp2dt or 18dpo) and am waiting for the results. I’m hoping for a miracle but know in my heart that it’s over.  I just hope this doesn’t drag on and on – numbers rising but only slightly, forcing you continue to to cling to that shred of hope. If IVF has taught me anything it’t that I’m not that 1 in a million person who beats the odds. I fall right in the middle of the bell curve.  Please just let the number be unambiguous.