One of the friends that I’ve referenced in this blog ended up having her own battle with infertility. After years of unsuccessful trying she finally went to see an RE. Turns out she had a hormone producing cyst that was interfering with her hormone levels and preventing conception. She and her doctor tried lots of different approaches and finally, after 2 years and on her 3rd and final IVF attempt she got pregnant with twins. She had a lovely and uneventful pregnancy and had her babies, a boy and a girl, last week at 35 weeks. Everyone was healthy, no NICU time despite her little girl being a tiny little thing. I couldn’t be happier for her!!
It’s funny though because it brings me right back to when my boys were tiny. Man, that was hard. Particularly after infertility, because every moment with tiny, needy humans isn’t magical and wonderful and I felt guilty for having moments of annoyance and exasperation because I knew all too well all of the women that would give anything to trade places with me.
Regardless of whether you got pregnant naturally and easily or through extensive medical intervention, motherhood is hard. It’s exhausting. It’s often thankless. Many of the hardest parts take place under the cover of darkness and are never witnessed or remembered by anyone but you.
There are days where I don’t know how I’m going to get everything done, and there are nights when I lie in bed and wonder how I will find the energy and the strength to get up and do it all again. And there are all of the moments in between where I wonder if I’m doing it right and where I know I could be doing it better. It’s so hard. So to my new mom friend – good luck. It’s going to be difficult but you are strong enough. You can do it. And to all of us who manage to pull it together and find the strength and courage to get out of bed every day and do what needs to be done – I commend us. We’re doing a good job. We’re not perfect. Some days we’re great, some days we’re just ok, but every single day we show up. We love our kids and we try hard. And we are good enough.